Boom, You've Just Been Mechanic'd

Last weekend, although not a working on the car weekend, did have some fringe benefits to Team I Wanna Roc. As you all might have noticed it was President's Day (which for those of you born before the mid 90's might recall used to be called Washington's Birthday) and there is always a good deal if you look for one. Of course by look I mean cannot avoid the constant barrage of multimedia advertising that only serves to perpetuate the materialistic society which we have created, but I digress. Sears was running their President's Day Weekend Sale and most if not all Craftsman Tools were on sale. I always tell myself that I'm just going to look, not to buy, just look and every time I let myself down. Needless to say that the tool chest of Team I Wanna Roc is looking much more respectable, organized, and portable. I am both proud and ashamed of myself.

Fast forward to Wednesday - I didn't have to work today so I figured I'd get to start wrenching on Didi today. Oh yeah, I named the car Didi. Don't like the name? Screw you, you haven't had to strap your ass into this deathtrap yet. I don't know about you, but I want to know the name of my eventual demise. Moving on, I decided that trying to tackle the rats nest of wires and electronically controlled fuel injection wasn't a job to try alone. I mean who would I have to blame if and when the car stopped working? Surveying the landscape I decided on removing the seat and window glass since it is obvious that we won't be needing those for where this car is going.

Although it is common knowledge, it still never ceases to amaze me that an American automobile is comprised of metric bolts. What is the purpose of insisting on holding to Standard units of measurement (inch, pound, gallon) if we can't even keep metric out of our sweet American classics?! I demand an explanation for this shenaniganry.

It felt good to pick up a wrench and take a vehicle apart piece by piece. I haven't been in possession of a vehicle that needed almost daily TLC to keep her afloat for a while, so having a LeMons car is quite the treat. The best part about it is that I can actually smack the crap out of this thing and not actually worry. Sure I try to be precise and thoughtful, but dammit I just bought a 15 piece punch and cold chisel set and I'm gonna use it. As with any project you need to pick up a service manual or at the very least a Chilton's/Haynes guide for your year, make, and model vehicle. They are an invaluable resource of tiny, almost indistinguishable graphics and drawings. Nothing could be simpler than trying to decipher black and white photos of engine compartments or transmission cross sections. Where these beauties really shine though is in the step-by-step (day-by-day) instructions on how to deconstruct/demolish virtually any portion of your car. They of course assume that you have a garage full of tools at your disposal which can be annoying, but this is LeMons so hand me the ball-peen hammer and the pry bar - no the other, bigger one.

Deconstructing the doors was a fairly straight forward task - couple of bolts here, knock out some pins there. Then I get to the part where I'm supposed to use a 1/4" drill bit to drill out the rivets holding the window glass to the window frame. I am first shocked by the sudden reappearance of standard units of measure. What, they don't have drill bits in Europe? Then I realize that I fail to own a drill or drill bits, oh fate you are a cruel mistress. No problem, just have to find a way to bust the rivets on glass to get it out of the door, shouldn't take more than a couple of minutes for a skilled professional such as myself find a solution. 20 minutes later I am swearing at the f-ing door and seriously considering ripping it apart to show it who's boss, but then realize that I own no welder to fix my tantrum induced destruction. Maybe it was the High Life in a can or divine inspiration, but I suddenly realized that I only had to snap the splayed ends of the rivets off and then use a punch to pop the rivets out. BRILLIANT! Quickly I locate some pliers to snap those bastards off and then carefully, oh so carefully, use a punch and hammer to pop out the rivets. I think the pictures speak for themselves on my mechanical prowess:

Original Third-Generation Camaro window parts and glass for sale/trade.

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